Do you have those moments when you want the time to go slowly and everything around you to go slowly as well? Second by second, minute by minute?
I am currently obsessed with this Australian prison show called the “Wentworth” and it is about women prisoners who navigate prison systems, friendships, relationships and various obstacles that come to their ways. The show gives me tears, knee-jerking and shocking moments all from the prison setting. I cannot rave more about this show and I cannot wait for the next season!
I was binge-watching the show one day and there was a scene where one of the character, Franky, was throwing a tennis ball against the wall and I don’t know what it was, but that scene made me yearn for a simple life. I mean in the show Franky was plotting a scheme so I am sure her thoughts were perplexed as she was throwing that ball. But just seeing her throw that ball against the wall back and forth and back and forth sort of soothed me and mesmerized me at the same time.
There are other scenes where the prisoners rest around their unit lounge after their work chores are over and those scenes brought peace to me as well. Those prisoners are stuck and they have limited freedom but the fact that they didn’t have to deal with all the “outside everyday chaos” seemed to calm me.
I sound like I live and work in a high pressure, corporate environment where I work and deal with stock exchange etc and I am not. I work in social services where I deal with complex and dire situations but I like my job and the work environment, so why the feeling?
I am not even sure but I heard there is a movement called the Slow TV from one of the Nordic countries where they broadcast ordinary events that occur in real time on TV. It’s a reversal to all the mega explosive and overstimulating things that are shown on TV shows and films nowadays. I don’t want to lie but I caught myself a couple of times just looking glassy-eyed at my laundry machine going around in a rhythmic cycle. Something about it was soothing but I stopped myself and got up after a few minutes before I got too entrenched.
As I am writing this post, I realized I have been working at my current job for a year and it has been my first full-time job in a field that I actually care about. I’ve always worked full-time hours in the past but they were either in a job where I didn’t give a crap about or few part-time jobs that added to full-time hours.
Nevertheless, at this point, I want to do so many things and maybe that’s just it. I want to do so much that I feel stuck and not sure where to go from here.
As I have mentioned in my previous post, I am at a point where I feel stuck especially in my career and somewhere inside me is yearning for a simple life. I think I am ruminating and looking for something to focus.
I work all week which include my full-time job during the week and a part-time job on the weekends. Now, that weekend gig will end in a month and I will have my weekends back, and it is going to be so weird. I have been working like this for a year but I’ve been working on weekends part time for 4 years and I am worried and excited at the same time to see what my weekends will be like once I am done.
I am all over the place but I am hoping something will come to me as I write posts like these.
If you ever felt stuck in the past and got unstuck in any category in your life, please leave a comment down below as I still have much to learn.
Thanks for reading this post that is all over the place.