My next big milestone is 40. YIKES!!
That number seems huge because I am halfway to 80. When you are 40 that is no joke.
I still feel like a little kid…well, not a kid but I still feel like a teenager with a pubescent zit on my forehead.
Even in my early 30’s, I did not feel too different from my 20’s and I thought I was still hip and cool. Uh….just letting you know, if someone says they are hip and cool, they are probably not.
Here are some of the random thoughts I’ve experienced as I am adulting.
1. Preference in colors on cars
I used to despise muted colors such as beige, or silver but I now appreciate the subtly and simpleness of the color. Also, it is harder to notice scratches on these muted colored cars so that is always a big bonus. I really wanted to give green cars a chance…but I just couldn’t ><
2. Appreciation of beauty
I don’t side-eye beautiful women anymore. I used to feel subconscious and I would compare myself to them and felt like crap afterward. Now I appreciate their beauty such as their fashion choice or makeup styles and admire how great they look. I see them as comrades rather than competitors (even though some competition can be healthy!)
3. I see my future children
When I see young people (anyone who looks younger than me) who seem friendly and nice, I pray that my future children will turn out to be like them (is that a bit freaky?)
4. Nightlife change
I finally appreciate staying home on WEEKENDS!! In my 20’s, whenever I stayed home during weekends, I thought I was a total loser and how I had no friends, but now, I embrace and look forward to a nice, cozy evening with a book or Netflix.
5. Preference for different types of books or articles
Instead of looking at articles on how to look dashing, or how to meet guys, I now gravitate towards self-help books or how to be healthy. Actually following these tips will be for another time.
6. I actually appreciate Olds Mobile car and its color and design and how it is considered rare! They were everywhere in the 90’s but I hardly see them!
I still have self-confidence issues but I am wayyyyy better than before compared to my 20s. Let’s just say it was somewhere in the bottom. I had no direction and felt constantly lost. This is something I am still working on but at least I am aware of it and strive to work harder at it.
8. Appreciate planning and goals
Again, this is something I am still working on it but I appreciate planning and goals. I never planned and never made goals in the past because I liked being “free” and did not like living like I was trapped. But I now realize planning and making goals doesn’t make me feel that way but it actually frees me up to do more things. I still suck at planning and making goals but again I am aware of my troubles and working towards it.
9. I value sleep.
When I was in my teens and 20s I thought to sleep was a waste of time and I wondered how I could have advanced working while everybody was sleeping. Now I value sleep more than anything else. I think I value sleeping more than eating which is pretty huge for me. Sleep nourishes my mind and mental state and it helps me to flush out issues that were clogging and have accumulated in my brain (it is 1 am at the moment…SLEEP!!!)
10. When I go to restaurants and when I see certain types of dishes I think to myself ‘oh, I bet I can make that and it will be so much cheaper. Now how to make this sauce?’
Bonus thought: Deteriorating health (duh). I realize wounds that I incur on my body are healing noticeably slower!! The mosquito bites, pimple scars, and even skin conditions are taking twice or even three times longer to heal and for them to disappear. They are now part of my accessories on my body permanently. And the pain that I have never experienced before. Aches here and there are popping all over my body and I wonder if my body is going to disintegrate soon.
All of these transitions are interesting and scary at the same time. In one sense I am intrigued at these changes and in some sense I think, damn, I am getting close to death (oh, the morbidity).
I wanted to write this post to mark these transitions and changes that have been occurring in my life.
Oooh…by the way, despite this seemingly negative (?) post, let’s all think happy thoughts! Meditate, oooohmm…..
Please comment and share if you are going through transitions in your lives! Whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally (I am not a therapist), spiritually etc….I would love to hear from you!
P. S: I already broke my 2018 goal. I said I would post at least once per month and I missed July’s, August and September (booo). I am taking a course now and it has taken all of my writing time. Now, all I can think about is my course. Ahhhhhh!
Anyways as always thanks for reading!