Yearning for a simple life

Do you have those moments when you want the time to go slowly and everything around you to go slowly as well? Second by second, minute by minute?

 

I am currently obsessed with this Australian prison show called the “Wentworth” and it is about women prisoners who navigate prison systems, friendships, relationships and various obstacles that come to their ways. The show gives me tears, knee-jerking and shocking moments all from the prison setting. I cannot rave more about this show and I cannot wait for the next season!

 

I was binge-watching the show one day and there was a scene where one of the character, Franky, was throwing a tennis ball against the wall and I don’t know what it was, but that scene made me yearn for a simple life. I mean in the show Franky was plotting a scheme so I am sure her thoughts were perplexed as she was throwing that ball. But just seeing her throw that ball against the wall back and forth and back and forth sort of soothed me and mesmerized me at the same time.

 

There are other scenes where the prisoners rest around their unit lounge after their work chores are over and those scenes brought peace to me as well. Those prisoners are stuck and they have limited freedom but the fact that they didn’t have to deal with all the “outside everyday chaos” seemed to calm me.

 

I sound like I live and work in a high pressure, corporate environment where I work and deal with stock exchange etc and I am not. I work in social services where I deal with complex and dire situations but I like my job and the work environment, so why the feeling?

 

I am not even sure but I heard there is a movement called the Slow TV from one of the Nordic countries where they broadcast ordinary events that occur in real time on TV. It’s a reversal to all the mega explosive and overstimulating things that are shown on TV shows and films nowadays. I don’t want to lie but I caught myself a couple of times just looking glassy-eyed at my laundry machine going around in a rhythmic cycle. Something about it was soothing but I stopped myself and got up after a few minutes before I got too entrenched.

 

As I am writing this post, I realized I have been working at my current job for a year and it has been my first full-time job in a field that I actually care about. I’ve always worked full-time hours in the past but they were either in a job where I didn’t give a crap about or few part-time jobs that added to full-time hours.

 

Nevertheless, at this point, I want to do so many things and maybe that’s just it. I want to do so much that I feel stuck and not sure where to go from here.

 

As I have mentioned in my previous post, I am at a point where I feel stuck especially in my career and somewhere inside me is yearning for a simple life. I think I am ruminating and looking for something to focus.

 

I work all week which include my full-time job during the week and a part-time job on the weekends. Now, that weekend gig will end in a month and I will have my weekends back, and it is going to be so weird. I have been working like this for a year but I’ve been working on weekends part time for 4 years and I am worried and excited at the same time to see what my weekends will be like once I am done.

I am all over the place but I am hoping something will come to me as I write posts like these.

 

If you ever felt stuck in the past and got unstuck in any category in your life, please leave a comment down below as I still have much to learn.

 

Thanks for reading this post that is all over the place.

 

Until then

 

 

Minimalist Min(ie)

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5 Tips for Clubbing for Married 30+

So Yup. I went clubbing… And not just attending a DJ event or a concert but clubbing as in going to a regular club, and lining up outside with other clubgoers while they were smoking and drinking.

So it started out as one of my married friends said “let’s do a girls night out!” and so another married friend joined and we decided on… Well, what else? Clubbing, of course!

At the end, the night was memorable but not in the best sense. We all went through the party scene when we were 20 something but as married 30+ it was a different story.

There were a lot of recurring memories and events that emerged from the past but we were simply not ready for what was bound to happen. We were stunned like a deer before it got stuck. (ugh… I don’t like that example… I get sad when I see road kills)

Anyways even though you may be younger or older than 30+ hopefully this can be a guide to all of you guys before heading out for the night. Hopefully, it can save you money (I am all for that), time and stress.

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Me and my friend clubbing (gasp!!)

 

  1. How to Avoid Line-Ups

 

a) Plan your destination

This may sound basic for some of you folks, but we had no plan! We just decided on a  club while driving and heading out to downtown. The first couple of clubs we picked (got the information on the internet ><) were closed down or not a night we wanted to attend, so we asked around and received recommendations and so we went.

If we had picked a club to go to, in the beginning, we could have contacted the club earlier in the week to get on the guest list and save time on lining up and maybe perhaps the cover fee.

b) Use your or friends’ connections

We didn’t want to resort to this but especially in the colder months, we would try to see if we have any connections with the promoters or know who knows one so we can get in the club with little to no lineups.

c) Or be a keener and head to the club early to avoid long lineups!

If the club opens at 8pm, get there around 8pm to avoid line ups! You will still listen to some great music, get drinks, dance a bit and maybe call it a night!

 

  1. How to save money on drinks

a) Pre-drink

This is kind of an obvious thing, but yes pre-drink or pre-game before you head to the club. Obviously, do not get so drunk that you stumble everywhere and puke before you head in (we kinda broke that rule ourselves but one of our friends was lightweight in drinking!). I remember back in my 20’s, we used to pre-drink at friends’ homes or even in cars! I remember I used to carry a bottle of drink in the back of the trunk in case someone wanted a drink.

Now, we might still pre-drink at friend’s home or drink at a bar or restaurants, but do remember! Drinks at bars and restaurants might be as expensive as in clubs so do calculate your costs as you go.

b) Research for drinks’ specials for that night

Check out what the drinks’ specials are when searching for the club(that is if you already picked a place!) so when you are ordering at the bar you know what to order. Also, ask for the price before you order! When I went to the club that night, I didn’t ask for the price and the drink turned out to be 20 dollars a shot! I think I got ripped but the drinks were already poured and I did not want to make a scene and get kicked out so I coughed up the dough. It woke me right after that.

C) Just don’t drink!

Save money and your health by not drinking and just getting thumpin with the music!! If you absolutely need drinks, read the options above but just don’t seduce and tempt guys to get a drink. You are independant woman and who knows what’s inside the drinks? Get drinks for you and your friends and they can get the next round and so on.

 

  1. Comfort is everything

When I was in my 20s comfort was the last thing on my mind. I just had to look hot or sexy and that was it. Oh and also cheap. I remember I would wear a short dress with no jacket in winter because I wanted to save money on coat check.

I would wear heels like no other and would rather bring band-aids with me to cover up my wounds because I would rather have sexy legs than worry about the pain and blisters that would incur later.

Now, comfort is everything! I am not at that stage where I would forego style over comfort but it’s getting close. I would rather wear comfortable, somewhat stylish shoes rather than sexy heels. I know my feet, and legs and let’s face it, my whole body would thank me as soon I walk into the club.

Showing off my B&B (accidentally) and B&B stands for Boobs and Butt and vice versa is not what I want to show off due to tripping over because of some gnarly shoes.

Wear something you would feel comfortable in for your whole body, from head to toe and they will all thank you.

 

  1. Avoid unnecessary conflicts

Back in the days, if someone bumps or elbows into you (on purpose) and you just want to smash them into pieces and you actually do it?

Well, think twice before you do that especially at this age. I am guessing you might have a job and maybe a family and some sort of a reputation (if you are in a gang, this might not apply to you or maybe it does) you would not want to risk all of that just from that one night, one person.

People are drunk and it is crowded with people, so give them the benefit of the doubt. If you are near people who are too rowdy, just walk away. Sometimes, it is just not worth it.

That night, I had this girl dancing near us flailing her hair and she was getting closer to us and we “gently” nudged her away but she came in full force shaking her hair like no other and so we just walked away and giving her the space to bang her hair.

 

  1. Plan, plan, plan

I feel like this is a recurring theme for this whole post. It’s not the funnest thing one can imagine when going out for the night and to plan for events that seem so far away and yet to happen.

However, it will be a good night at the end.

Plan what will happen afterward. If you want to eat afterward, scope out what’s good to eat around the club and check it out. I was hungry afterward, so I went to the nearest pizza store and later having to find out one of my favorite pizza was store was just a block down. Now, you may say what is the big deal? Well, the one I favored had better flavours and was a bit cheaper. I don’t know about you but I like tasty food and to save money. The gnawing annoyance is something I would only feel.

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My friend and I grabbing mediocre pizzas (meh)

So there it is. My short guide to having a fun night out on the town for married 30+.

 

Basically, plan the crap out.

 

Do you have any tips on going out for the night? If so, please share and comment down below!

 

Thanks for reading!

 

Until then

 

 

Minimalist Minnie

 

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Girl Power is Fake?!

I wanted to write a post about myself when I was back in my early 20s.

I was recently watching my favorite Canadian talk show called The Social and I was listening and watching the four hosts, who were all women from multicultural backgrounds, I felt a sense of bond and warmth which permeated inside of my body.

I have always felt this bond as I have been watching this show consistently online for almost a couple of years now, but something in that moment propelled me to write a post and to share with others what I was thinking. I wanted to be and to feel honest with myself and I admit, writing has only been a recent affair; however, it is something I want to continue doing and to continue to honing my skills as doing so.

When I was watching the show and realizing my feelings of warmth and bond, I noticed they were feelings toward other women. Other strangers. Other women.

I remember when I was in my early 20’s and it probably continued until mid to late 20’s, I saw other women be someone whom I had to be in competitions with. These thoughts could have arisen from witnessing the whole mean girls scene back in elementary and highschool settings, but I noticed whenever, I would set foot into a new setting, I would scan and to look out for the potential mean girls. They might not have been necessarily mean, but if they were feigning beauty and the brain, they would be someone I would watch out and to envy on the sidelines.

During that time, I did not have much self- confidence so I did not think I could stand a chance against the strong and beautiful women (in my perspective), but they were someone I would stare from the side of my eyes and brood feelings of jealousness and negativism. Whenever I would change my style whether it be clothing to hair color, I would see how I compared to them. I just remember that on the outside, I would smile, and to seem cheerful, but inside, I felt horrid, confused, and alone.

And somehow, I had this weird sense of pride, that I also had to be the center of attention so when there was a new girl, prettier and younger, who might have needed my assistance, I would shut them down by ignoring or not paying them attention.

I knew somewhere inside, that was not the person I wanted to be. It was rarely the other women I was hating but only myself. I knew somewhere deep inside, I was a genuine, kind person but because I had self -confidence issues and did not have anyone who was there to help me navigate those awkward, indescribable feelings, my negativity spiraled until it dug a hole. Ill brooding feelings were trying to form into an ugly shape that I did not want to give it a meaning.

It is still a process but I can say I am in a space where I feel I can better support other women without fear, and scrutiny and to stand in solidarity with those that are constantly fighting for women’s’ rights. This was unintentional but I will be posting today to acknowledge International Women’s Day. Happy International Women’s Day.

Please comment down below if you felt any negative feelings toward other women in general and how you overcame those feelings.

 

Thank you for reading!

Until next time

 

Minimalist Minnie